Before I get down to this awesome low carb pumpkin quick bread recipe, I thought I’d ramble on a bit about my
exciting terrifying weekend first…
But here’s a teaser photo of the pumpkin quick bread so I don’t lose you in the meantime. (If you can’t stand the suspense just scroll down for the recipe after my story about the spiders.) (Oh now you’re interested?) Fine then – read on…
Anyway, my day was going great…until the spiders (plural) incident.
It all started when I tackled some fall cleaning Friday, specifically the long wall of windows in our kitchen and master bedroom that look out onto Greenwood Lake. It’s a pretty amazing view to wake up to every morning. Unfortunately it’s become obstructed over the summer by the literally hundreds of spiders that come out of the cracks every night and build their webs all over them.
Welcome to life on a lake.
Spiders by the hundreds garland our house every night – even our cars are covered in webs every morning. It’s horrific. Especially if you hate spiders as much as I do.
I could go on and on about how terrifying it is to walk up the back stairs at night (aka. run the gauntlet) after hanging out by the lake 2 stories down only to have to fight your way through spider webs and actual spiders hanging from them in the dark.
I once had a spider drop right onto the front of my shirt on the way up the stairs, and I FELT IT LAND with a thud because it was so huge.
Screaming and wild arm waving ensued.
Followed immediately by several
shots tumblers of bourbon just so I could sleep that night.
The spiders are a thing around here.
Anyways, in the light of a sunny, breezy day yesterday I waged war on them and took all of the screens down to brush gross webs off of them outside, and then I cleaned all the insides of the windows while Mr. Hungry cleaned the outside with a squeegy thingy on a telescoping pole.
It was going fine… until I was cleaning the insides of a window frame in the kitchen and must have hit a nest or something because tiny spiders rained down all over me, including falling into the sleeves and down the front of my tunic!
Are you paying attention?
You know you feel itchy right now just reading those words. Take a moment to absorb the horror.
I almost died – in fact I think I my heart stopped literally for a few seconds. Then the adrenaline kicked in and there was a lot of flailing and freaking out. If I had a video of it I’m pretty sure it would have been hilarious to watch, and I’d be a millionaire now after becoming an instant YouTube sensation.
As it is I’m glad Mr. Hungry was outside when it happened, because if he’d actually witnessed it I’d never, and I mean NEVER, live it down.
The man has the memory of an elephant for things like this. Don’t even get him started on how I react if a bee somehow ends up in the car with us!
But that’s a story for another day…
Anyway, I survived (barely) and my windows are clean and sparkly now. All tiny spiders have been eradicated (or that’s what I keep telling myself) and I’m ready to get back to work.
Speaking of work, I’m going to Food Blog University in Cancun, Mexico later this week and the Hungry men are tagging along as well.
Are there spiders in Cancun? No, right? I mean there are no spiders in the tropics… I’m sure of it… Right?
We’re all pretty psyched about the trip, and you can expect to see me posting annoying photos of fancy cocktails, gorgeous beaches, and hanging out by the pool on Facebook, Twitter, and especially Instagram pretty much all next weekend with obnoxious tags like #workishard and #lifestinks.
But you can’t hate me (much) because I’m leaving you with this awesome low carb pumpkin quick bread recipe to drown your sorrows in while I’m gone.
Seriously – it’s impossible to be mad and eat this bread.
Side point: I’ll never understand why people insist on calling quick breads “bread” anyway. Banana bread, pumpkin bread, even zucchini bread if it’s sweetened is basically CAKE in bread shape. Amiright?
I will say that this pumpkin quick bread (if indeed that is your real name) is only subtly sweetened, making it perfect for breakfast or a snack, but it’s not really a dessert kind of thing.
Although if you threw a scoop of low carb ice cream on it I wouldn’t judge you. Maybe some sugar free caramel syrup….
Now I REALLY wish I’d thought of that before I ate it all slathered with salted butter…
Just kidding – I love you salted butter.
Guess I’ll have to make it again to try it with the ice cream though. You know…
Also I’m dying to make a french toast out of it because I’m pretty sure it would be UH. MAZING. I really need to make this happen soon… Maybe right now…
OK, ummmmmmm – gotta go!
Spiders = BAD.
Pumpkin Quick Bread = GOOD.
Cancun = STAY TUNED…
1. You will get the best results with a finely ground almond flour rather than a course almond meal.
2. A longer, narrower loaf pan like this one will produce better results than a shorter, wider loaf pan. If that’s what you have, it will still work but you may have to cook it longer to get the center to firm up correctly – in which case cover the top in the last 15 minutes of cooking so it doesn’t over-brown.
3. Be sure to use large eggs – if you use extra large eggs it DOES make a difference. Soggy. Bread.
4. If you are making your own pumpkin puree make sure it’s well drained and thick or it will add too much moisture to your bread, making it – you guessed it, soggy.
5. Finally, like all quick breads this requires a cooling and setting period to firm up and be easy to slice. If you slice too soon it will be mushy and fall apart. For best slicing results you should lift it from the pan using the parchment and then wrap it loosely and let it sit overnight on the counter or in the refrigerator. The next day it should be significantly firmer and easy to slice.
That being said, you can do what I did and slice off the ends to taste and eat warm with the butter because nobody waits an entire day before tasting it – that’s crazy talk.
6. To make this recipe Paleo you can sub in 1/3 cup maple syrup for the granulated sweetener – increase the coconut flour by 1 Tbsp to absorb the extra liquid.
- ¾ cup butter, melted
- 4 large eggs
- ⅓ cup unsweetened almond milk
- 1 cup canned pumpkin
- ¼ tsp maple extract
- 2 cups almond flour (IBIH recommends)
- ½ cup coconut flour (IBIH recommends)
- 4 tsp baking powder
- ½ cup erythritol sweetener (IBIH recommends)
- pinch of salt
- 1 tsp ground cinnamon
- ¼ tsp ground nutmeg
- ¼ tsp ground allspice
- ¼ cup chopped walnuts (omit if nut allergy)
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F)
- Combine the melted butter, eggs, almond milk, pumpkin puree, and maple extract in a blender and blend until smooth.
- Combine the almond flour, coconut flour, sweetener, baking powder, salt, and spices in a medium bowl and stir well.
- Pour the blender ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until well combined and moisture is absorbed.
- Stir in the nuts if using.
- Line a long, narrow loaf pan with parchment paper and spoon the batter into the pan. Sprinkle with additional nuts if desired.
- Bake the bread at 350 degrees (F) in the center of your oven for 60 minutes (or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.)
- Turn off the oven and leave the bread in there for an additional 15 minutes.
- Remove the bread from the oven and then from the pan using the parchment paper base to lift it out.
- Cool on the counter or in the refrigerator loosely covered for a minimum of 4 hours, but for best results leave it overnight before slicing.
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